Jere and LeRoy in happier times
Jere and LeRoy in happier times
LeRoy, a much beloved and stalwart member of the Prospector Ski Patrol has been kidnapped and held for ransom, and despondent Dodge Ridge patrollers are seeking his safe return. LeRoy was last seen standing erect at his usual post at the bottom of Ego Alley on March 4. There were no witnesses to the kidnapping, however a ransom note from Beer Valley Ski Patrol demanding 2 cases of Budweiser was received on March 4.
Shortly after the ransom note was sent, Dodge Ridge patrollers demanded proof that LeRoy had not been cut up for firewood before entering into negotiations to get him back. After receiving proof, a brave Dodge Ridge patroller went to Beer Valley with the ransom, only to learn that LeRoy had been taken to Sugar Bowl. It is assumed against his will as LeRoy has always been a faithful member of the Dodge Ridge Ski Patrol.
Since that thwarted trip to retrieve LeRoy, Beer Valley patrol authorities have been looking for possible witnesses to the hoisting of a life-sized dummy onto a chairlift. Beer Valley patrollers mistook the figure for a frozen guest left by negligent patrollers. Pranksters also filled Beer Valley trail map dispensers with Dodge Ridge trail maps. "And we want to know just how 'Dodge Ridge' got spray painted into the snow and why there are Dodge Ridge bumper stickers all over the place," said one Beer Valley patroller.
As with the much-publicized Patty Hearst kidnapping case, LeRoy's kidnappers have said that LeRoy likes it better with Beer Valley and wants to stay there. Dodge Ridge patrollers responded by saying that LeRoy had been brainwashed. The last communication was from a Sugar Bowl patroller who would only give his first name " Frank". He claims LeRoy is on a road trip to Lake Tahoe ski resorts and won't be ready to come home until the spring clinic held this year at Alpine at the end of April.
Meanwhile, there has been another development. LeRoy's long-time companion, Jere is now missing. Unfortunately there have been no ransom notes, demands or sightings of Jere since March 16. It is feared he has become a coffee table in some snowboarder's cabin. Persons having any knowledge of the whereabouts of LeRoy or Jere are urged to contact the Dodge Ridge Ski Patrol. All sources will be kept confidential.
DATELINE: DODGE RIDGE SKI AREA
Leroy has returned to Dodge Ridge and is ready to take up his post when
the snow flies, however Jere is still
missing.
